i just had sex bonerless
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
