so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
