More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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