if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
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the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
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Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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