It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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