He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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