I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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