He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
