is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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