Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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