you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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