On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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