Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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