therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We left the knife in your bed.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
