i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
