Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
how drunk are you?
Several
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
