to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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