my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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