I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
