I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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