I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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