She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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