I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
