I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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