Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
