She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
