when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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