Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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