Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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