Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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