I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
