his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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