I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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