so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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