I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
