What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
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