oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
