i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
