Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
