wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
