"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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