At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
