Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
