You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
be right there i have to get my cape
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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