She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.