i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I understand Curling. That high.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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