Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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