1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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