My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
