I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
