Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
