Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
