how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
