you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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