yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
pray to the hookup gods
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
