do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
