I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
