Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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