I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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