I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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