So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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