My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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