I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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