Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
