God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
