i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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