If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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